How Words Can Reveal a Heart’s Condition

Language is a mirror of the heart, reflecting our deepest values and priorities. Over the past five decades, a subtle but profound shift has occurred in how we speak about ourselves and the world. Research has documented a dramatic increase in the use of first-person singular pronouns like  “I”, “me,” “my,” and “mine“. At the same time, words emphasizing community and shared experience such as “we,” “us,” “our,” and “ours” have steadily declined.

This linguistic transformation reveals something deeper than mere grammatical preference. It exposes a fundamental change in how many people are living and how we view ourselves in relation to others and to God. Where previous generations spoke naturally of “our community,” “our responsibilities,” and “our future“.  Today’s language centers increasingly on “my success,” “my happiness,” and “my needs.“

The apostle Paul warned against this very tendency when he wrote, “People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy” (2 Timothy 3:2). What he described as a sign of the last days appears to be manifesting in our everyday speech patterns.

This shift toward self-centered language also coincides with rising rates of depression, anxiety, and social isolation. When we make ourselves the center of our universe, we carry burdens too heavy for human shoulders. We were designed for community, created to find our identity not in personal achievement but in our relationship with God and service to others.

The Gospel offers a radical alternative to this self-focused worldview. Jesus demonstrated the ultimate counter-cultural message when He said, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24). His life exemplified service over self-interest and sacrifice over self-promotion.

As believers, we can intentionally counter this cultural drift by changing how we speak. Instead of “I accomplished this,” we can say “God blessed our efforts.” Rather than “my success,” we can acknowledge “what we achieved together.” These aren’t mere semantic games but actually declarations of dependence on God and interdependence with others.

This shift in language is also especially crucial when addressing sin and brokenness. Rather than pointing fingers with accusations like “you need to change” or “your sin is destroying you,” we can speak in terms of “we all struggle with sin” and “our broken human nature pulls us away from God.”

This approach doesn’t diminish the seriousness of sin but recognizes our shared condition before a holy God. When we acknowledge that “we are all broken sinners in need of grace,” we create space for authentic conversation rather than defensive isolation. The Scriptures remind us that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23), making sin a universal human condition rather than an individual failing that separates “us” from “them.”

The world desperately needs to look beyond self and know someone greater than themselves. In a culture increasingly consumed with self, the message of a Savior who laid down His life for others becomes more compelling than ever. We encourage you to use language that points toward something beyond ourselves and at the One who offers true purpose and hope.