You’re Not the Target
There’s a tension in evangelism that is real and will discourage you if you are not prepared. People that visit online sites may not be open, reasonable or what you expect. You can offer hope when they are down, truth when they are skeptical, gentleness when they are angry, and mercy when they are filled with shame. And our hope is those responses would lead to change and people moving forward in faith.
The reality is some people have been stuck in those places for a very long time. Some don’t really want to change and may turn the conversation back on you. They show you the anger and bitterness that they are experiencing. And if we’re honest, our first instinct is often to take it personally, to defend ourselves, and to prove we’re right.
Digital conversations, especially those with limited barriers to entry, can bring people with agendas or those who may act in ways they never would in person. When someone lashes out at you or your faith, remember you’re often not the real target. You’re encountering years of church hurt, hypocrisy they’ve witnessed, or pain they’ve carried alone.
Once we realize we don’t have to take the bait, or win the argument, it becomes much easier to talk to difficult people. Jesus often responded to questions with more questions, leaving space for people to wrestle and discover. When we release our need to be right, we create room for the Holy Spirit to work. Sometimes the most evangelistic thing we can say is, “I hear you. Tell me more.”
In a world where hot takes and instant reactions are celebrated, calm becomes countercultural. It is also powerful. As Proverbs 15:1 encourages us, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”. Your steady presence can be an anchor when someone is stuck or spiraling.
Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is simply meet people exactly where they are. Proverbs 19:11 says, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” Their anger isn’t about you so look past it to the wounded soul underneath the words.
Not every conversation will bear immediate fruit. Jesus taught many and let some walk away. Wisdom means discerning where God is calling you to engage and where you need healthy limits.
This serves as a reminder that ministry can be isolating. Meeting people where they are means entering messy spaces that can be filled with doubt, grief, anger, and questions without easy answers.
You can pour out and listen deeply, often without recognition. Trust the Holy Spirit with changing hearts and find your worth in God rather than the results.
Recognize every conversation is different. No two people arrive at faith the same way. One needs intellectual answers; another needs to feel seen. The Pharisees needed confrontation; Zacchaeus needed an invitation to dinner.
Our calling isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach. We need to be re rooted in Christ so that we can adapt, listen, and respond with His love in whatever form the moment requires. You’re not responsible for changing hearts. You are called to share faithfully and point them toward the One who meets us all.
